


and so the sun begins to finally rise

by MissPaige



Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Analysis, F/F, Loneliness, don't tag as selfcest please, themes of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27601223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissPaige/pseuds/MissPaige
Summary: A look into Timekeeper's psyche.
Relationships: Croissant Cookie & Timekeeper Cookie (Cookie Run)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 26





	and so the sun begins to finally rise

**Author's Note:**

> i return to the fanfic scene to write out some timekeeper analysis because frankly i think devsis didn't do a very good job at making me feel sympathy for them despite me now knowing what they were probably going for with the character  
> i love psychoanalyzing characters and i think this is my first attempt at actually formally writing it out so i hope you enjoy

How much they had once longed for this power.

How much they thought it would finally bring them happiness.

Mix things up.

Anything other than the slog of an engineer’s work. It was unfair. They created so many things they considered wonderful, only to hardly get the time of day for their troubles.

“What would be the use of this?”

“We already have something like that!”

“Everything anyone would ever need has already been made!”

No ambition at all.

Then the offer was made to them, and it seemed like fortune’s very blessing. Maybe finally someone up there was smiling down at them. Finally, everyone would listen to what they had to say. Finally, they would be appreciated.

_What amazing things I can do with this power,_ they had thought. _How great I can make the world be!_

And it worked. For a while.

Then their little workers started knowing immediately what to do with any given situation. They did not even have to say anything anymore, the workers already knew what protocols to follow, what words to say, what order of events they should reference, etc. They had become entirely self-sufficient.

They didn’t understand what they were feeling at first. This should be a good thing, yes? The workers took care of the smaller temporal anomalies, while the Director would remain on the high seats, watching over and protecting them from any time-space collapses. With their power, they could do that effortlessly. Large wormholes in time can be fixed as easily as sewing with a needle and thread with the power and knowledge they held.

But they still didn’t feel satisfied, and they didn’t know why. This unknown feeling ate at them. It settled down into the pit of their stomach and made their hands shake and their legs tense up. Even stitching up time wasn’t enough to make this parasite go away.

And then one day it hit them.

Things have become peaceful, and all was well and good, but…everything had gotten complacent.

Everything had gotten _boring._

They came to know every single outcome that was and will be, but with that, everything had become…predictable. And with this realization came a whole unwelcome mix of emotions. Sadness, betrayal, anger.

What had even been the purpose of their promotion to this position? Did their predecessor step down because they felt the same way? Did they want another person to know how it felt?

…was it just one enormous waste of time?

But how? This was supposed to guarantee them lasting happiness.

How could it possibly turn out like this? How could they have been so naïve?

But they couldn’t leave. No one wanted their position. No one even knew who they were. They were only the faceless Director, a disembodied voice that told them what to do every now and then. No one ever cared what they might be doing, what they might be thinking. They were too busy doing the same thing over and over again.

Over and over and over and over and over

It was sickening.

No one even cared to visit them either. Even those with important orders never told them of anything, they just trusted that they already knew. Yes, that was true, but…just one person coming up to bring them tea would’ve been a welcome change.

Anyone that would look at them like an old friend instead of a superior would be a welcome change.

But no. Those people just assumed they were too busy, assumed they were too godly to trifle with them, assumed they only looked at the workers like pawns, assumed, assumed, assumed.

Some of those workers were once her friends. But now they seemed to have forgotten all about them.

How…? Why…?

Their first attempt to remedy this was when they decided to leave a time rift to its own devices. Let the workers decide how to deal with it for once. It exhilarated them to see them scramble around, zipping through the timelines to stitch it all back. It was fun just to see _something_ happen. But then the crisis was averted, the rift was fixed, and everything went back to a slow, empty slog once again.

So, they left another time rift alone. Then another. Then another. They threw wrenches into historical events just to see how their employees would react. But the high from watching these only lasted so long before the urge for stimulus hit once more.

So, they broke and they tampered and they sabotaged and they…they hurt. Anything to create an outcome they couldn’t see coming for once. Something, _anything._

Until even things like that failed to illicit any reaction out of them.

Was this just their lot in life? Their other lives, were they any better than this? Were they destined for greatness in a different circumstance? Or was it always the same, in any timeline, in any version of themselves or anyone meant to act like them?

So they looked, and looked, and looked. They tampered as much as they could, just for any reaction, any sign of hope for any iteration, anyone who stepped in to help their other lives, _anything._

When nothing came of it, they would just quietly sew everything back up and leave.

Even their other iterations didn’t understand them. Even when they caused as much chaos as they could, no one would ever step in to help. Even when the mundanity of life hit them in the back and refused to let up, nothing happened.

So eventually the Director came to the conclusion they were destined to be alone, to be distant, to be just another cog in a cosmic machine. Even so, they kept tampering, kept breaking, kept meddling, just to feel _something._ They would get yelled at yes, if they were to get caught, but they couldn’t even bother to feel chastised. They never bothered, because scolding or not, they would still be alone.

Nothing ever changed.

But then, one day, after another of their searches for a high, an up-and-coming engineer approached them. She was another iteration of theirs, but only in name. An engineer like them. A creative soul like them. Destined to be bored and alone, like them.

But it’s not like the others _weren’t_ also like that. But they never understood her situation. No one did. Why would this one be any different?

But then the engineer did something peculiar.

She offered them her hand.

“Come with me,” she said. “Perhaps if we work together, you won’t do this to yourself anymore. If you promise to stop, I can show you all the things that make life worth it. I’ll make it so that we can both look forward to the life ahead of us. You won’t be lonely anymore, because I’ll be here with you. Do we have a deal?”

And as the god of time looked upon that outstretched hand, their constant smile wavered for just a moment.

Did she really mean that?

What was it they used to say when they were once like her?

_Nothing ventured, nothing gained._

And, for the first time in a while, they believed it.

“We have a deal.”

And it was then that Timekeeper remembered what hope felt like.

**Author's Note:**

> devsis show me the forbidden timekeeper lore!! show how completely lonely and boring their existence must've been before croissant talked some sense into them you cowards!!
> 
> anyway  
> i hope you liked it, and i would appreciate a comment if you enjoyed


End file.
